I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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