apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
