This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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