Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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