this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
