yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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