dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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