Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
