My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
