OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
