it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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