i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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