Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
