1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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