I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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