craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
