i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
