R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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