Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
