Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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