Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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