I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Everclear isn't food dammit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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