At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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