I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
