It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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