i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
