I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
