ugly people sure do ruin things
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
