If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
