i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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