I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
