Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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