The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
