marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Umm I'm too high to move.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
