Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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