that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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