census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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