that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
