So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
