She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
