naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
