you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
