i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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