i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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