Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
