I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
