forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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