I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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