put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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