My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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